Too Cool

Welcome and greetings from a brisk 6 degrees in Melbourne. We're up to blog #64 and in a recent weekend magazine piece, the fashion editor was talking about fashion trends. It struck me as being a particularly fascinating and perhaps over-looked perspective about this thing called fashion. She was talking about the early-adopters of fashion trends and how they are often too cool for school.

Here's what Rachel Wells from The Age had to say in this piece:

Take it away, Rachel: "It occurred to me recently that people are often ostracised just as much for being [too] fashionable as they are for being unfashionable..... it seems people are equally amused by those who jump on the latest fashion craze as they are by those trapped in some kind of fashion time warp. This only really struck me the other morning when I caught myself chuckling at a young guy on his way to the tram stop wearing a pair of black leggings, a tailored sports jacket complete with a hood and an over sized woollen snood. He was the most "on trend" guy I'd seen in weeks, yet there I was giggling like a school girl".

Snood - but only if it's over sized. The photo to the right was as close as I could find that might be what Ms Wells encountered at the tram stop. Note the oversize snood. I didn't even know what a snood was until I Googled it last night. Let alone know that they come in sizes up to "over-sized". One would imagine a "regular" would be sufficient, right? Clearly not.

I was so relieved this piece. I've mused before about my view of those extravagant haute coutre fashion shows and what their real purpose surely must be. I've scratched my head at fashion merchandising, wondering about what's in and why. I have wondered why we are collectively manhandled by the fashion world into striving to constantly be "in fashion" which translates to constantly be "in consumption". Does it ever become too much?

Clearly, the answer is yes. Not only does it translate into over sized snoodling, which can't be good for you on a constant basis. But it translates into over sized credit card bills as well. Combined together, this has got to be deadly.

Meaning.... In all my musing on this blog, one thing I have never questioned is that clothes mean something. Clothes don't mean everything, sure, but they mean more than nothing. Why else is Australia having a debate right now, at the highest political levels, about the wearing of the burqa? Both the Prime Minister of Australia, Julia Gillard (at the time of writing), and the leader of the opposition, Tony Abbott, were last night on the documentary granddaddy of them all, Four Corners, both commenting on the "burqa issue".

Laughing and pointing. No thanks. Back to Ms Wells of The Age. She says that she doesn't want to be laughed at behind her back or pointed at in public for being so fashion forward that she looks like she may be off to a steam punk costume party. Many, including my good self, would relate to that (so few of us these days actually enjoy being the object of abject ridicule - where has our fighting spirit gone?).

Fashionable? Or is that ridiculous? I can't quite tell.....So, where does the line between being fashionable end and being ridiculous start? I wonder if being fashionable is achievable, it's so elusive and capricious.... Trying to be constantly in fashion is like being inside a tornado - you never know which way and when the wind will turn, and if you'll end up with a flatbed truck landing on top of you. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I'm fairly certain that constantly being in fashion is not desirable. It's just the wrong thing to be striving for.

Expression... or delusion...And where is the line between self-expression and self-delusion (accompanied by bleatings of baaaa-baaa, in a sheep-like fashion)? I want to be me, just not a ridiculous version of me (if I'm going to be ridiculous, clothes should not be the reason for it - there are much funner ways to be absurd). I want to be current, but not so "bang on trend" I look ludicrous or so keen to be fashionable that all identity is lost. An oversize snood may very well cover up more than just the lower part of your face.

I want my clothes to express and inform who I am - they shouldn't dictate or confine. I mean, isn't that the happy purpose of clothes?

As I puzzle on this, and the temperature climbs to a staggering 9 degrees Celsius here on this glorious Melbourne morning, I'm sure of one thing. Well, two things. My home address and phone number. And an oversize woollen snood is probably not going to be part of my future. Right?

8 Months!

Hello and welcome from a chilly Melbourne to blog #63. Today is the official Month 8 mark of the challenge. I think I'm getting into the swing of it now....

I love coming to Melbourne. Apart from the very shallow reasons of I get to wear my winter boots and overcoats for longer than 10 minutes (which is about how long you can stand to wear them in Queensland before your feet and body turn into blocks of fire), but I get to experience something closer to the season we call Winter. It gets fairly cold here in Melbourne - about 10 degrees Celsius during the day. Throw in howling wind and driving rain and the weather really does become quite fascinating!

So am having a divine time here in Melbourne, negotiating the wind and wearing my woollen overcoat. I was out and about in Collingwood the other day and in one of the many used bookstores, I came across the book that illustrates this posting (left, or above, or where it is located here). How's that? Not only are there 50 shoes that changed the world (who knew?) but someone wrote about it!

Like I did at the Official Month 4 mark of the challenge (remember blog #31?), today seemed a good day to do a review of the last few months. We'll pick up from Month 5 (since the now-classic blog #31 took us up to the end of Month 4 - you can do a quick review of Months 1 through 4 by clicking here, then you'll be ready to take on the review of Months 5 - 8!).

In Month 5, I was in the lead up to my birthday and a one month trip to New Zealand. I blogged about mixing and matching -- a key to "shopping your wardrobe". I took you into my private packing world with Pack it Baby! and when we arrived in Auckland, I wrote about the City of Sales (or Sails, as they insist on spelling it). I had a moment of Near Misses and Misplaced Fear, and I got courageous with Going In - this was also when I first identified with the seagulls in Finding Nemo, a theme I have come back to a couple of times since then. I had my first television appearance on May 5 and blogged about that in blog #37. And I finished the month by waxing lyrical about What's In and Why, leaving us collectively pondering where our own sense of style comes into the equation. Surely, we're not all at the mercy of the fashionistas who determine the trends and merchandise them relentlessly. Right?

Month 6 and I had turned a psychological corner -- I was sure that clothing stores were not the enemy, and I'd had some experiences to back up this developing belief. I'd actually gone into some stores and discovered that I did have the willpower to appreciate what was on display without purchasing or leaving sans-purchase but with a feeling of regret. This felt like progress! I blogged about Napier, the world-wide capital of Art Deco Style. I talked about how I had to be me in Just Looking. I identified 3 kinds of Not Quite New Shopping. We arrived home from New Zealand and I invited you into my arrival home in the ground-breaking Unpack Me! post.

One of my favourite, like ever, posts was written (blog #43) on What Do Clothes Mean? toward the end of May, followed by the final post of the month where I mused about the world of fashion shows in It's Art. It was a prolific writing time for me, and I continued in June with a whimsical post about recycling - Recycled - Buy It Here!, then did a Quick Review of my favourite and most popular posts written so far.

The last post of Month 6 marked the half-way mark of the challenge, and I reflected on the challenge so far here. I wrote about what I'd noticed was how the emotional and psychological parts of the challenge were really the essence of it. Sure, the "not" part (not going shopping) was what was obvious. But the real juice lay just out of line of sight. Who needs Le Carre, Childs and Cornwell when you've got this stuff. Right?

Month 7 and we were sneaking up on Winter here in Australia. In Go Shoppa! I shared some of the studies and statistics that have been unearthed about women and shopping - shocking stuff. On May 10 I was back in New Zealand for a command TV appearance, this time on the Good Morning Show. I also had a boring shopping experience that somehow seemed worth writing about.

Winter proper had arrived -- not only from a seasonal perspective but an emotional one as well. I had some tough times in mid July and blogged about them in Emotions Go Shopping and The Princess Bride. I picked up the theme of a previous topic with Not Quite New Shopping - Clothing Exchanges, rounding out the 4th kind of shopping that doesn't involve buying new. A fun post in New Old Shoes had me musing on the exact rules of the challenge, concluding that gifted and swapped items were allowed. Reasonable. Right?

Month 8 started off with the insightful Exit Here - Via Your Visa. Stuck for ideas, I wrote the forgettable Same Old but New Somehow post which I wont even link to, it's that ordinary. Another favourite post came along in 5 Things I'd Tell You - a round-up of my accumulated wisdom garnered from being on the challenge, which may contain some surprising ideas. I had an emotional Breakthrough toward the end of July -- something I would not have thought possible 7.5 months ago. This which was good, because Today Tonight (the evening magazine TV show on Network Seven here in Australia) came to acquire some footage for a show they're doing on recovering shopaholics. As at the time of writing (yep, on this very day, here in Melbourne), the story is yet to go to air, but I'll keep you posted! I finished up July by giving a Working Definition of "Shop Your Wardrobe", identifying the building blocks of a working wardrobe. It was killer.

Into August we collectively travelled, and I gave some reasons why 12 months without shopping could fulfil your life in ways unimaginable, and why others who had attempted this (the good GAAD people) may have had such trouble with a challenge like this. I wrote about Ange's experience of Skinny Jeans and Poor Service, which boggles the brain. And I finished up Month 8 by devising a definition of Conscious Shopping. All in all, a pretty rich and random set of posts. Right?

Rules schmules? There are rules to writing, and blog writing has its own set of niche norms. Blogs are springing up everywhere, on every conceivable topic, written by citizen journalists all over the world who want to share! Have you noticed?

I try not to follow too many of those writing rules when I sit down to blog twice a week here. This blog is intentionally diary-style and a record of my own experiences, filtered through my particular personality and psychological twitches. When I write about things that may help you (the building blocks of a working wardrobe for instance), I'm reminding myself as much as sharing with you.

I know I'm probably offending the blogging gods somewhere somehow with this approach. I also hope I'm delighting you, dear reader. At least some of the time. I hope that by just being me, that I'm connecting with you. That's the leap of faith I take every time I write like this. Because if I can't be me, and the me I am isn't able to connect with you, then the only reasonable response is to fall to the floor in a foetal position. And that can't be right.

Plus, who's going to make the dinner and bring in the washing? Challenging to do that from the foetal position on the floor. So I continue to be me and live in hope that this is working for you as much as it is for me. Right?

Conscious Shopping

Well it's a rather dreary looking Tuesday morning here in the Sunshine State. I'm off to Melbourne in a few short hours and have stopped by here to give you blog #62. Today I thought we'd chat a bit about Conscious Shopping.

What is it? Well, many things probably. Well, at least two. Their definition and mine ('their' being those other than me). I've heard some people refer to conscious shopping as being about buying 'green' -- clothes that are not industrially dyed or manufactured using slave or child labour, that kind of thing. These kinds of clothes would carry the warning: "no bamboo was harmed during the making of this garment". And I like that definition of conscious shopping. It's just not my definition.

My Definition. Remember blog #59 when I gave a Working Definition of Shop Your Wardrobe? (well, it's hard to forget, I know). Expanding on the pearls I laid before you in that post, shopping consciously would encompass the following:

• You have a plan, a strategy, an overarching r'aison d'etre for going shopping. There is no randomness to the shopping trip where you wander listlessly from rack to rack, with no clear thought about what it is you're looking for. For some of you, this element of Shopping Consciously alone will change how you shop.


• You have done some pre-playing in your wardrobe and know what you need. You've done a bit of a wardrobe chuck-out and have identified any legitimate gaps in what you have and what you need. This may have taken you a whole day or 10 minutes. However long it took, you didn't just leap into the car and point it in the direction of a shopping centre with no further thought. You got some "good intel" before going shopping. And you got it from your own wardrobe (and brain).


• Once purchased, the items on your shopping list will fit your lifestyle and will also play nicely with at least 3 other items, if not the entire closet. This way, you will not be bringing home any 'orphans' that don't go with anything else (or require additional items to be purchased to make them work -- see last post on Ange's jeans shopping debacle)


• During your shopping expedition, you keep a focused head about you. You know what you're there to buy, and you keep that Front And Centre. This is not to say that you don't enjoy all the lovely other things on display. You just don't want to be a sitting duck, vulnerable to every alluring table display and group of mannequins displaying gorgeous things that you don't need. Stop - admire - even try on. But keep focused on what you're there for.


• If you do find something gorgeous that's not part of your strategy (ie: not on the list) and you are Seriously Considering buying it, that's ok. Just make sure it ticks ALL of these boxes: Does the colour suit me? Does the style flatter my body shape? Does the item fit my lifestyle? Will I be able to wear it with at least 3 other things already in my wardrobe? Will it be relatively easy to care for (ie: no hand washing or dry-cleaning every time you wear it)? Does it fit well or can it be easily altered? Does my bum look big in this? (well, every woman asks herself that last question as a matter of course, don't they? Even if they're trying on shoes)

Shop less, but more. Really! I'd suggest that you are better of going shopping 2 - 4 times a year, consciously, than once every week or so, randomly. This way, you shop based on your "intel" (do a wardrobe review and chuck-out - then build your list of Must Haves -- not the seasonal must haves, mind. No. These are your must haves) -- not based on what the fashion merchandisers are flaunting right at this moment.

So go shopping less often, but for longer. You'll need a longer shopping trip because you've got specific and numerous things to purchase. You devote more time to the expedition, but you come home with only what you need.

This way, shopping fits into its proper place. It isn't a hobby or a contact sport. And in the end, this approach will save you time. Woooo - saved time! Isn't that what half the women's magazines (and a quarter of the men's) are saying we are all desperately short of? Well, here's a way to scrape some of it back!

When you shop this way, you enjoy shopping, but it doesn't become your life (your life is too important to devote to shopping).

Switch to the ON position. Shopping consciously implies that your brain is switched to the ON position. I say that with the greatest affection, you know. I have often been shopping with my brain switched to the NEUTRAL position. That "there but not there" state of vagueness where you are actually hyper-suggestible and therefore likely to come home with a few more bags and a few more pages on your credit card bill.

Please don't go shopping in that state. The only people that that's good for are unscrupulous retailers who are only interested in volume sales - not developing loyal customers who go home thrilled with their purchases.

If you are too tired, too overwraught, too stresesed, too whatever -- don't go shopping. The temporary pick-me-up it provides wont last anyway, and it'll be accompanied by some "below the line" feelings of guilt and "oh no, now I have to go return this thing anyway".

Only go shopping when you are feeling alert and energetic. Pay attention to what's going on around you, and what's going on inside you. Yes, let's get all woo-woo for a moment here. If something doesn't feel right, it probably won't work for you - so pay attention as much attention to your instincts as you do to the sales staff. Maybe more.

You know when your brain is switched to the ON position, and when it's not. Only go shopping when it's ON.

Investigate other options. Instead of always hitting the mall or large shopping centre, you might want to consider new but not new options (which I talked about here and here. And remember consignment shopping - it's the best!). Including this type of shopping, and those types of stores, into your shopping expeditions will add some colour and variety and fun. You'll likely find some unique treasures, and not just the mass produced stuff on sale in the big department and chain stores.

It's worth it. You're worth it. If you've been a serious shopper, someone who shopped regularly, and randomly, then developing some new habits around how you shop will take a bit of time. Shopping consciously is where you want to be, though, so stick with it until you can shop this way easily.

Shopping consciously will save you money and time and it'll also save your sanity in the long run. And we all need a little more of those, don't we. Right?

Skinny Jeans and Poor Service

Hello dear reader and welcome to a glorious winter Friday. Here we are at blog #61. This week, my friend Ange was telling me about a shopping experience she had. It boggled my brain so much, I asked her if I could tell you about it. "Sure", she said. So here it is.

Ange wanted a pair of jeans. Not just any pair of jeans, but jeans with particular style elements. Ange is a beautiful 29 year old with two gorgeous little boys and an adoring husband (with a broken foot, but that's another story). Ange knows a bit about her style - she likes black, she likes bold colours, she knows a lot about make-up. And she knows what looks good on her body and, possibly more importantly, what does not.

One sunny day last week, Ange went jeans shopping. She chose a national jeans store, thinking that they would not only stock a large range of jeans, but that their staff would be knowledgeable. About jeans.

Wrong. On both counts.

Here is what Ange was looking for:

1. jeans were to cover and slim her hip/thigh area. I'd guess that 4.7 women out of 5 are looking for this particular design feature, so it didn't seem unreasonable to imagine that would be a tick! no problem, madam, would you like that in dark, stone, or ripped?


2. jeans were to lengthen and slim the leg. Few of us actually resemble in any physical way the models we see sporting the jeans we end up buying. Those models are all 7ft tall (everyone knows that, right?). So this also seemed like a design feature that was not altogether unexpected


3. jeans were not to gape at the back. Few women would enter a jeans store and say "well, I don't care what colour or style they are. But they absolutely positively must gape at the back so that my underwear is visible from the cab of any passing 18-wheeler, ok?". Another check in the box of Reasonable Request


4. jeans were to be dark denim. As you can now get jeans in colours from Prussian blue to sand-blasted to 'destroyed' denim and silver jeans. Dark denim seemed a fairly easy-to-find quality in a jean


5. jeans were to have some shaping quality to them. This is one of the advances in fabric and garment construction that those of us with less than stick-like figures have benefited from. What you see on the outside may be a virtual magic trick made possible by the shaped panels inside the garment.


6. jeans were to be in stretch fabric. Since we've all been wearing Lycra-infused garments since Brooke Shields first exhorted us to not let anything come between us and our CKs, this didn't seem unreasonable to request either

Ok, I'm sure you've got the picture. Ange was fairly specific in what she wanted. But also not an unreasonable set of design requirements. I have 3 pair of jeans (out of a total of 14 pair) that fit those exact specifications. Two of them are from Target, I might mention.

The sales person "assisting" Ange brought out a pair of jeans that closely resemble those in the photo accompanying this article. No exaggeration. Promise.

Apart from the dark denim bit (requirement #4), they possessed none of the design features Ange asked for.

"They look great!". What happened next is even more astonishing. Ange is standing there, looking like she's been poured into these jeans, and the sales person exclaims "oh, they look great on you!". At this point, Ange began to wonder if this young woman didn't have some kind of visual impairment. There was no possible way that the words "great" and "you" could be applied to the vision of Ange in those jeans.

When Ange protested that she didn't feel good, or didn't feel she looked good, the response was "oh, well you could wear a longer top, and a little ankle boot" (yes, the jeans were wrong from both ends - with muffin top and cankles appearing as if from thin air. Doing wonders for Ange's self esteem, into the bargain).

Ange responded that she didn't want to have to adjust her entire wardrobe to be able to make the jeans "work" (although she felt that nothing short of an amputation was likely to make that happen in a hurry).

Less confidence in sales staff. Ange walked out of the store jeans-less. She told me that the entire experience left her less confident in sales staff in general. "Even if I do need help, when I walk into a store and someone asks if they can help, I say no. Because I don't trust their advice". How sad is that?

And the answer is... behind door number 3 of course! The answers are obvious. Here's a few I made up just now:

• sales staff need to be knowledgeable. And not just about the product their store is selling, but about their customers. If you are selling clothing to real human beings, you need to know a bit about the human body shapes that exist. And what looks good on the various human body shapes. And that's not even getting into colour or personality dressing. And here's a bonus free tip: skinny hipster jeans do not look good on real curvy women of any height (and I'm not talking 'Hollywood curvy' there).


• sales staff need to be focused on the customer, not on selling stock off the floor. This is sheer heresy to some retailers, I know. Ange said that when she was working in retail, they had the 7 Steps to a Sale, from "greet the customer" through to ringing up the sale. The focus was on selling the product, not on helping the customer. And YES, of course they should be the same thing. But how many times have you walked out of a store and wondered if they even saw you, let alone were focused on helping you? (If you can get staff under 21 off their hand-held electronic devices long enough to even notice that you've entered the store, you're doing well).


• sales staff need to have the judgement and communication skills to provide honest input to customers. If you are selling clothing to real human beings, you need to be able to ascertain (in your best judgement) if the item is flattering to that person. Then you need to be able to express that viewpoint with diplomacy and courtesy. If everything "looks great on you!", then you know the sales person has no idea and their comments are on automatic loop.


• sales staff need to be able to offer options to customers. If you are selling clothing to real human beings, you need to not only be able to provide an opinion on how flattering the current garment is on them, but offer them options if it's not. This usually requires a brain switched to the ON position.


• sales staff need to do all this so that the customer walks out happy. And does not come back, unhappy and having complained to as many people as will listen, to return the item. A happy customer will not only tell lots of people about their experience, but they will become a loyal customer.

Now if you walked into a store and were assisted by a sales team member like that, wouldn't that be a treat? Wouldn't you be telling anyone who'd listen long enough all about it? Wouldn't you become a loyal customer? I sure would. Well, if I were still shopping, which I'm not right now. Naturally.

So, Ange is still looking for a pair of jeans. If only she were my size, she could have a pair of mine. Right?

12 Months Without - what?

Hi there and welcome to blog #60. If you are new here, it's great to see you and I hope you'll stick around and have a look at what I've been up to. This blog is written diary-style, I write on whatever's on my mind when fingers hit the keyboard, and on a variety of topics that relate to being on this challenge.

So you're new and want to know shat I write about here? All kinds of stuff gets written here! Feel free to read all 60 posts. Some are more gripping than others, for sure. In case you don't want to read each and every one in chronological order, here's a high level sketch of some of the things I write about here:

• Sometimes I write about the fashion world or the marketing/merchandisers who lure us into purchasing new items that we may, or may not, need or even want.


• Sometimes I wrote about shoppers and shopping centres.


• Sometimes I write about various challenges or successes or I'm having on (or ways I'm coping with) the challenge.


• Sometimes I write about observations I've made about shopping from being out and about.


• Sometimes I write about TV shows (fiction and documentary) or movies and their relationship to this challenge.


• I've been fortunate enough to have some media attention and I write about that, too.


• Sometimes I write about the building blocks to creating a working wardrobe, like colour and mixing and matching. I'll be writing more about the other building blocks, too, soon (like conscious shopping and style & shape)


• Sometimes I write about ways to inject something new into your wardrobe, without buying new (or buying anything). Like here, here and here.


• Sometimes I write about what I've learned or I'll stop and do a review, just so we can collectively catch our breath.
  

Doing it Yourself. Today I'm writing specifically to those of you who are seriously thinking about doing this challenge. As in, joining up with me, clicking that big orange button, and having their own Year Without Shopping.

Why do 50% fail? The Great American Apparel Diet is a no-shopping-for-one-year challenge that anyone could participate in (an American lady named Sally started it), and quite a lot of people signed up for it. The GAAD started on 1 September 2009 and (no matter when you started) it finishes at the end of this month (which is amazing timing, because that's about when our membership program will open its doors. But we're not talking about that just yet - that's coming up in a paragraph or two).

The New York Times recently ran an article about PLUs who are doing extreme things like not shopping for clothes for a year, or only existing on 6 items of clothing for a year. Seems to be a hot topic right now.

What the NY Times reported was that half of the GAAD people dropped out of that challenge. Including Sally's sister. The GAAD website doesn't mention anything about this, but I am wondering about the reasons why so many people could not see the challenge through.

Here's my best guesses:

• the challenge is simply too hard -- habits were too entrenched, temptation is too irresistible, sales were too pervasive. Willpower is not just the name of an Australian racing car driver, although it may be just as elusive.



• the challenge was too isolating -- despite there being a good few people who joined the challenge, maybe it felt too Robinson Crusoe to some folks. Not too many of us can remain stimulated and enthused when working in a vacuum. On something really hard.



• the challenge didn't offer enough support. It may have felt that the challenge was not just all-on-your-ownsome, but doing it without a net as well. Hard to keep on keeping on when it feels like there's no-one there to catch you if you fall. Or even notice.



• there weren't enough distractions or new ideas. Bribery and distraction work for toddlers in supermarkets, and they work for adults, too. You can't just take something away and not replace it with something. Well, not if you want it to work. You've got to fill up the now-empty space with something else. Preferably something good.



• the focus was on "doing without". This feeds into the human fear of scarcity -- never having, or being, enough. Which is not a life-enriching or spirit-lifting aura to surround yourself with.

Now, who knows if these things affected any of those 50% of good GAAD people who didn't make it. Maybe halfway through the challenge, they all got jobs at Calvin Klein and got massive staff discounts. We may never know, and thank Jimmy Choo for a bit of mystery, I say.

So, does this mean that 12 month challenges are too hard to stick with? No, no, no, and no! They can work... (well, they do - 50% of the good GAAD people stuck with it, right? And let's not forget me - it's working for me, too). Here are the things that need to be in place to make it work.

1. support. You gotta know that there's a helping hand, a bit of tough love, and possibly a large polo mallet (gently and infrequently applied) that will be activated to help keep you going. And someone will notice if you fall of the wagon.

2. inspiration. You gotta know that there'll be new ideas, distraction and large amounts of cavity-inducing chocolate available to get you thinking and feeling differently about your wardrobe, your shopping habits, and yourself.

3. guidance. You gotta know that someone who's qualified, experienced and has a more than adequate grasp of the English language is going to offer you some juice on how to do things differently. And by that, I mean better.

The 12 month program we've got going has all that in spades. I told you a bit about the experts we're attracting to the program in the last blog. When you join the 12 month My Year Without Clothes Shopping program, I'll

• make it as easy as it's possible to be


• make it fun and fulfilling


• make it inspiring and practical


• be with you the entire time


• remind you that if I can do it, you can, too

That's the deal. Check it out. Decide for yourself. Click the big orange button. We'll still be friends, no matter what you decide. Right?

Shop your Wardrobe: A Working Definition

A hearty Friday hello to you. Our weather has been having rather wild mood swings of late. Rainy and overcast in the mornings, brilliant sunshine by late morning, cloudy and menacing by dusk. I thought that kind of cantankerous climate only happened in Melbourne. Or Toronto.

So, here we all are at blog #59. A lot has happened this last week.

• We've been taped by Australia's Channel 7. Their evening magazine show, Today Tonight is doing a story on recovering shopaholics, and I'm one of the featured people on it. The show is probably going to air early next week. Like heavy towels on a cloudy day, it takes time for a story like this to air properly. I'm looking forward to airing. (actually, while we're talking about this... if you watch the show, you'll see the shots of my wardrobe. Which is not only one of my favourite rooms in the house, but is also a converted bedroom and very deliberately designed and laid out. Just for a bit of context, I have attached a photo that shows a portion of Mariah Carey's wardrobe. All we see are some of her shoes - not even all of them. And that's just her shoes. Heaven knows how big the entire thing is. I'm thinking football field sized).


• We have moved full steam ahead on getting our 12 month My Year Without Clothes Shopping program knocked into shape. Check out the updated website here. I'll wait while you check it out..... back? Good. What did you think? We're pretty pleased with the site and have received some positive feedback to it. Which is better than a poke in the eye with a wet fish, isnt' it?
• We've got some great guest writers/contributors lined up to be part of the 12 month program. Avis Cardella (author of Spent: memoir of a shopaholic) is going to be part of Months 4 and 9. Jennifer Selby Long (author of Wealthy Types) is going to contribute to Month 8. Helen Robinett of Image Quest (image advisor extraordinaire) is going to contribute to Months 2, 5 and 11.... It's all go, I tell ya. There'll be so many fabulous people contributing to this program, our heads will collectively spin.

Ok, before I get too business-y here, let me get onto what else I want to talk to you about today. You'll probably have noticed the words the Shop Your Wardrobe website. And you're probably wondering: what does that mean? Good question, and I'm glad you asked!

And if you're really asking: I wonder if it's too early for lunch? Or, is Chelsea Clinton really going to serve gluten-free cake at her wedding? Then I'm sorry but you've come to the wrong website for answers to those burning questions. So let me go ahead and answer my own question, and try to stay with me, please!

Ok, so here's the scoop. There's two bits to Shop Your Wardrobe. Well, two bits I could think of anyway. Here they are:

1. The first bit is about attitude. Psyche. Thoughts patterns. What goes on in the upstairs department. You know how you can look at the stuff in your wardrobe and be silently saying "yeah, this is all ok... but what I really want is....[insert name of desired object here]!". Desired object may be the latest Must Have item you've read about or seen tantalisingly displayed in a store window. At the moment, I've noticed a lot of military-inspired stuff around. Which is not for me. You put military-style with animal-print and I'll look like I'm about to stage a coup in some third-world country. Not the look I'm going for.

So, back to this attitude thing. Maybe you're looking at your winter jackets and wishing for a military-inspired jacket instead of what you've got now. Whatever it is you're wishing for, what that's doing is creating or reinforcing a feeling of want. You feel something is lacking. Now, maybe your wardrobe has the goods, maybe it doesn't. That's not the point here (it's the next point -- let's keep our points in order, shall we?)

If you want to Shop Your Wardrobe, you gotta have an attitude of what I've got is enough. Your 'tude should be one of enjoying and using what you've got to the full. Easy enough to say, harder to do. But it can be done.

And of course, it's easier if point #1 and point #2 are in synch. Let's get into point #2 now, shall we?

2. The second bit of Shopping your Wardrobe is to create a working wardrobe. Oh, so what the Gucci is a working wardrobe?, I hear you ask. Sheesh, you're asking all the great questions today.

A working wardrobe is one where every single item in it:--

• works for you. Every thing makes you look good and feel even better


• pays its rent. You wear everything in your wardrobe. None of that "oh the last time I wore this was when I went to see The Godfather when it first came out at the drive-in". No. It all gets worn. Regularly. Seasonally. Frequently.


• plays well with other items. Every item coordinates with at least 3 other items in your wardrobe. And 3 is just the minimum. There's no maximum.


• has been purchased consciously. None of that random whirling through a store, picking up things thither and tither, with no overarching plan in your head of what you're there to buy, why you're buying it, and how it's going to fit into your current wardrobe. Working wardrobes don't get created that way. The people who stand at their wardrobe, staring into it with a slightly white-eyed look, lamenting "look at all this stuff! Yet I've nothing to wear" have usually shopped in that random fashion. There's no consciousness to that kind of shopping.

Working wardrobes usually take a bit of time to develop. Mine has taken 10 years to get to the point where it is now. 10 years ago is when I started getting conscious about pulling my wardrobe together.

10 years ago is when I learned about and applied the building blocks of a working wardrobe (and this is also a useful guideline for me in upcoming blog pieces I should cover, right?).....

• colour. What colours support me and make me look my best? Ok, you might or might not buy into that whole colour thing. That's ok. But I reckon there's something to it, and it sure makes shopping easier


• style and shape. I'm not a fan of Trinny and Susannah's body shapes that are modelled on inanimate man made items (who wants to be a 'brick'? or a 'bell'? yegods). But there is something to understanding the different shapes that we humans tend to come in, and knowing yours in particular. Then dressing accordingly. It's the way nature intended it. I mean, there's a reason why hippos, rhinos and elephants come in standard grey, isn't there?


• personality dressing. You don't have to be Carl Jung to know that people come in different personality packages. This is also the way nature intended. Take birds for instance.... peacocks are different to eagles, and both are different to owls, and they're all different to doves. Right? (And let's not even get started on the hairy woodpecker). However you slice and dice it up, we all have different personalities, and knowing yours can help you determine a style of dressing that supports or expresses or even informs who you are. Assuming you have your eyes open and your brain turned to the on position, you'll likely feel quite different wearing a navy blue structured suit than you will wearing a pair of board shorts and thongs.


• lifestyle. When I worked for an international consulting firm, what I needed in my working wardrobe is really different to what I need in it now. Putting that knowledge into practice to keep my wardrobe truly working for me is part of Shopping My Wardrobe. Out with the suits! In with the animal print jackets! I didn't have a single animal print jacket 10 years ago (and now I have 12.... ok, don't say anything! That's why I'm on this challenge, right?)


• mixing'n'matching. There's a skill to pulling a whole bunch of outfits together from only a few items of clothing. You truly have a working wardrobe when your options expand exponentially every time you bring home something new. Which leads me to my next, and final point....


• shopping consciously. You gotta have a plan, or at least some broad ideas of what you're going out there to buy. Without it, you're a walking duck, vulnerable to the sassiest table displays and most alluring window displays. You're like Isla Fisher walking along the street with the store mannequins beckoning to her (loved that part of the movie!). For me, having a plan meant that I could shop purposefully. I knew I'd never bring home an 'orphan' that wouldn't play nicely with any other item in my wardrobe. I discovered my love of consignment shopping, which meant I could shop for quality items without breaking the bank. And who doesn't want an unbroken bank, right?

Ten years ago is when I stopped shopping randomly. Ten years ago is when my working wardrobe really started to take shape. I was in training before then... I had some good ideas, but I didn't really know what the building blocks were, and I sure didn't know how to pull it together. Now I know. And I can honestly say that I shop my wardrobe. Neat, huh? (that, or slightly annoying. I know).

And I can help you do it, too. True blue. (you can read more about why I'm qualified in that particular department about halfway down this page).

So that's the skinny on what I've been up to and what shop your wardrobe means. You're up to date. Right?

Breakthrough - Relief!

Greetings and welcome to blog #58. I had a breakthrough recently. Don't you just love it when people have breakthroughs? I do. A breakthrough implies that someone has come through adversity. That they've been in the mire, prone, prostrate, miserable, stuck, eating worms. It's been HORRIBLE for them. And now - ahhh - the sun has come out, they've gotten to their feet, wiped the dust off their clothes and the mud out their eye.



Breakthroughs imply battling. Some form of battling has taken place. We weren't sure who would win -- good or evil. There were times we were sure that the good guy wouldn't win - he was down on his luck, down in the dumps, down on the dollar. Aussies love a good battler story. I don't think that we are culturally unique in that regard, but we do like to think that the battler is something we invented, don't we?

Anyway, I've been battling. As you know, if you've been reading thiseehere blog. Which of course I know you are, dear reader. Remember blog #51? (it's sure to become a classic). All bent out of shape with nowhere to go and nothing to buy.

Well, on the weekend, I had a breakthrough! (this is worse than an episode of LOST, isn't it? All this bloody build-up! Ok, I'm getting to it, promise. Next sentence. Well, paragraph at least.)


I was in Peter Alexander, my favourite pyjama store (doesn't everyone have a favourite jammie store? Ha! Can you imagine women of our mother's and grandmother's era, having a favourite PJ store? Unheard of! Pajama's aren't fashion items! They're practical things! How things have changed..). I happened to have my camera with me and snuck the above photograph of their current winter range (yep, still "winter" here in Queensland).


Animal print! And what do you notice? Lotsa animal print, right? Waaaay back, in blog #9, I talked about my love of all things animal print. Whenever I see it, I'm sure some synaptic nerve goes bananas in my brain. So what they had in this store was:

1. zebra print brushed cotton pj sets + just long bottoms



2. giraffe print brushed cotton pj sets + just long bottoms. Giraffe is an unusual print - you don't see it so much



3. cheetah print polished cotton (so a shinier look & feel fabric) in pj sets + just bottoms

Lovely stuff. Right up my alley. I looked longingly at items #2 and #3. I picked out my size (M) and held it up. I ran my hands over the fabrics. I had a few moments of "oooh, lovely, I wish...." (those damn seagulls from Finding Nemo and their "mine! mine!" chants haven't quite gone away, but they are receding. Which is a relief - I'd hate to have a Pixar character take up permanent residence in my head. I blogged about them at the Halfway Point most recently).

And then.... something magical happened. I remembered the challenge (yes, brief amnesia is one of the side effects of going into shops, which is why staying out of them is such a good idea) and my commitment to not going clothes shopping for one year. I want to feel proud of myself at the end of this challenge - that I achieved what I set out to do.

I remembered that there are always lovely things to be purchased - they wont go away on December 16 2010 (when the challenge finishes for me). I told myself that if I desperately needed a new pair of PJs next year, I'd find something lovely then.

Wait for it....And I hung up the item in my hand. And here's what was so amazing. I felt relief. Yes, relief. You read that right, clothes fans. For the first time ever on this challenge, I had an item in my hand that I really liked, that was at a price I was happy to pay, that would be worn (pay its rent in my wardrobe), that had practical value.... and when I let it go, I felt something other than a twinge of regret, a shiver of misgiving, an agitation that I might be "missing out".

I felt relief that I didn't have to buy this item. The challenge is the fence that's keeping me in, sure, and that wont last forever (well, it finishes on December 16 2010). But I hope that I can simulate the same emotional braking mechanism that kicked in on Sunday.

Ahem (cough), excuse me.....Now, if you're reading this and thinking to yourself: ok, this bird is saying she feels some kind of regret that she didn't buy pyjama bottoms - am I reading this right? I getcha. I'm writing the damn thing and thinking that. But I'm also thinking: thank god I'm getting a handle on this now. That I'm waking up, tuning in, and letting the entire internet-reading world to witness my struggle.

This is what's real for me right now, warts and all (well, probably more than just warts - I could keep a dermatologist busy for a month with all my 'blemishes'). I just hope you won't cross the street to avoid me if you see me out in public one day.

So, there it is. My breakthrough in 9 easy-to-read-paragraphs. It's not exactly the Kokoda Track, but it's real for me. I feel lighter somehow, and stronger too. And it only took until nearly Month 8 for it to happen.

See - this stuff doesn't happen overnight, I knew it! Who knows what the remaining 4 months of the challenge will bring? More television appearances, perhaps. And more insights and breakthroughs, too. Although possibly not in that particular order.

But for now, I feel like I'm in a good place. It can't all be stones. Right?